8
00:01:21,003 --> 00:01:22,000
>> So what do you think?

9
00:01:22,003 --> 00:01:23,000
How we doing on time?

10
00:01:23,003 --> 00:01:26,000
>> About 15 minutes till the game starts.

11
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,000
So you think the Mets
are gonna choke this year?

12
00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:29,000
I don't know.

13
00:01:29,003 --> 00:01:32,000
>> Jeepers, these
towels are soft and fluffy.

14
00:01:32,003 --> 00:01:34,000
You can say that again.

15
00:01:34,003 --> 00:01:36,000
Jeepers, these towels are soft and fluffy.

16
00:01:36,003 --> 00:01:37,000
>> What was the question?

17
00:01:37,003 --> 00:01:41,000
[KNOCKING]

18
00:01:41,003 --> 00:01:42,000
I'll get it.

19
00:01:42,003 --> 00:01:44,000
No, no, no, no, don't get up.

20
00:01:44,003 --> 00:01:45,000
Please don't disturb yourselves.

21
00:01:45,003 --> 00:01:47,000
[MUSIC]

22
00:01:47,003 --> 00:01:49,000
>> Hey, birthday girl.

23
00:01:49,003 --> 00:01:52,000
T minus five days and counting.

24
00:01:52,003 --> 00:01:54,000
Wow, it's that time again, huh?

25
00:01:54,003 --> 00:01:57,000
Boy, they just keep coming, don't they?

26
00:01:57,003 --> 00:01:58,000
Oh yeah.

27
00:01:58,003 --> 00:02:01,000
>> Well, I came for my
son in my cappuccino maker.

28
00:02:01,003 --> 00:02:04,000
The baby prefers his milk
steamed, his rhymesome of Paris.

29
00:02:04,003 --> 00:02:05,000
>> No problem.

30
00:02:05,003 --> 00:02:08,000
So where's your Walker, grandma?

31
00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:10,000
[LAUGH]

32
00:02:10,003 --> 00:02:11,000
[MUSIC]

33
00:02:11,003 --> 00:02:13,000
>> Isn't he funny, Joe?

34
00:02:13,003 --> 00:02:15,000
>> Yeah, he's a riot.

35
00:02:15,003 --> 00:02:21,000
[LAUGH]

36
00:02:21,003 --> 00:02:22,000
>> Jude.

37
00:02:22,003 --> 00:02:23,000
>> I'm fine, I'm fine.

38
00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:27,000
>> Come on, come on, birthdays are fun.

39
00:02:27,003 --> 00:02:28,451
Presents and cake,
and I'm sure Richard

40
00:02:28,463 --> 00:02:30,000
has something
spectacular planned, right?

41
00:02:30,003 --> 00:02:32,000
What's gonna be this year, huh?

42
00:02:32,003 --> 00:02:35,000
Burgers at the Taj Mahal, maybe
square dancing with the Kennedys?

43
00:02:35,003 --> 00:02:37,000
>> He hasn't planned anything.

44
00:02:37,003 --> 00:02:38,000
>> Nice going, Dad.

45
00:02:38,003 --> 00:02:40,000
>> Why not?

46
00:02:40,003 --> 00:02:41,000
Where is he?

47
00:02:41,003 --> 00:02:45,000
>> Some Canadian snow geese,
straight off their migratory route and

48
00:02:45,003 --> 00:02:49,000
the Audubon Society
asked him to reunite the flock.

49
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,000
[LAUGH]

50
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:53,000
[SOUND]

51
00:02:53,003 --> 00:02:53,000
>> That's too bad.

52
00:02:53,003 --> 00:02:58,000
>> I'll tell you what, I'll take you out.

53
00:02:58,003 --> 00:03:01,000
>> Yeah, yeah, we'll go to the
movies or I'll take you to dinner.

54
00:03:01,003 --> 00:03:03,000
>> We figured you
spoiled our surprise party.

55
00:03:03,003 --> 00:03:09,000
>> Damn, damn, I just
remembered I have this.

56
00:03:09,003 --> 00:03:10,000
>> I'll think of something.

57
00:03:10,003 --> 00:03:13,000
>> The big book convention
and->> The big week on terror.

58
00:03:13,003 --> 00:03:15,000
>> Connecticut, the
Connecticut Book Convention.

59
00:03:15,003 --> 00:03:17,000
>> What are you talking about?

60
00:03:17,003 --> 00:03:18,000
I thought we were supposed to get together.

61
00:03:18,003 --> 00:03:20,000
>> No, no, no.

62
00:03:20,003 --> 00:03:22,000
That was before I remembered
the book convention.

63
00:03:22,003 --> 00:03:25,000
>> Okay, we can reschedule.

64
00:03:25,003 --> 00:03:27,000
>> Hey, don't worry about me.

65
00:03:27,003 --> 00:03:29,000
Turning 39 is no big deal.

66
00:03:29,003 --> 00:03:30,000
>> Unless you live in Latvia.

67
00:03:30,003 --> 00:03:33,000
Life expectancy's 40.

68
00:03:33,003 --> 00:03:36,000
They burn a lot of coal.

69
00:03:36,003 --> 00:03:38,000
>> If I could just have my cap,
would you know a maker now?

70
00:03:38,003 --> 00:03:40,000
Actually, could I borrow it for->> Party.

71
00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:41,000
>> The weekend?

72
00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:44,000
I promise to give you, I'd bring
it to the big book convention.

73
00:03:44,003 --> 00:03:46,000
It's our year to make cappuccino.

74
00:03:46,003 --> 00:03:48,000
>> Well, all right, but
I want it back Monday.

75
00:03:48,003 --> 00:03:49,000
>> Have a nice weekend.

76
00:03:49,003 --> 00:03:51,000
>> Jeremy. >> Take it easy.

77
00:03:51,003 --> 00:03:51,000
Bye-bye now.

78
00:03:51,003 --> 00:03:52,000
Watch that.

79
00:03:52,003 --> 00:03:53,000
[LAUGH]

80
00:03:53,003 --> 00:03:54,000
See ya.

81
00:03:54,003 --> 00:03:58,000
Big surprise party Friday night.

82
00:03:58,003 --> 00:03:59,489
>> Don't worry,
Dad, like I thought you

83
00:03:59,501 --> 00:04:01,000
were gonna take the
cappuccino maker to

84
00:04:01,003 --> 00:04:02,000
Connecticut.

85
00:04:02,003 --> 00:04:04,000
>> Remember, mom's the word, okay?

86
00:04:04,003 --> 00:04:06,000
>> Just keep it under your hand.

87
00:04:06,003 --> 00:04:07,000
>> This is gonna be fantastic.

88
00:04:07,003 --> 00:04:09,000
I can't believe I thought of this.

89
00:04:09,003 --> 00:04:10,000
I'm a genius.

90
00:04:10,003 --> 00:04:11,000
>> Will you relax?

91
00:04:11,003 --> 00:04:12,000
It's just a surprise party.

92
00:04:12,003 --> 00:04:13,000
>> No, no, no, no, it's not.

93
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,000
You know why?

94
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:16,000
Because at the end of the night,
there's gonna be a phone call.

95
00:04:16,003 --> 00:04:17,508
And it's not gonna
be Judith calling me

96
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,000
about some amazing
thing Richard did .

97
00:04:19,003 --> 00:04:22,000
She's gonna be calling him
up in the Yukon someplace,

98
00:04:22,003 --> 00:04:25,000
telling him about the
amazing thing that I did.

99
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,000
>> You see?

100
00:04:26,003 --> 00:04:27,000
Always thinking.

101
00:04:27,003 --> 00:04:28,000
>> Sounds great.

102
00:04:28,003 --> 00:04:30,000
>> [LAUGH]

103
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,000
>> But what are you gonna
do about the book convention?

104
00:04:31,003 --> 00:04:37,000
[MUSIC]

105
00:04:37,003 --> 00:04:46,000
>> What are you doing?

106
00:04:46,003 --> 00:04:47,000
>> Nothing.

107
00:04:47,003 --> 00:04:50,000
>> Look, I need these notes typed up ASAP.

108
00:04:50,003 --> 00:04:54,000
>> We have to settle for an ASAI, GBFL.

109
00:04:54,003 --> 00:04:54,000
>> What?

110
00:04:54,003 --> 00:04:58,000
>> As soon as I get back from lunch.

111
00:04:58,003 --> 00:05:00,000
WS with Sherman.

112
00:05:00,003 --> 00:05:01,000
>> Who's Sherman?

113
00:05:01,003 --> 00:05:03,000
That would be me.

114
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,000
>> Sherman.

115
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:05,000
>> Hello, Toby Marie.

116
00:05:05,003 --> 00:05:12,000
>> Martin, I wanna present
Sherman McGigney, the love of my life.

117
00:05:12,003 --> 00:05:15,000
Sherman, this is Martin
Tuppa, the boss of my life.

118
00:05:15,003 --> 00:05:18,000
>> Nice to meet you.

119
00:05:18,003 --> 00:05:19,373
>> You know,
anthropologists believe

120
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:21,000
the handshake started
as a way to show you

121
00:05:21,003 --> 00:05:22,000
were unarmed.

122
00:05:22,003 --> 00:05:24,000
I like to think it grows out of
our need for human contact.

123
00:05:24,003 --> 00:05:28,000
>> [LAUGH]

124
00:05:28,003 --> 00:05:30,000
He does magic tricks as well.

125
00:05:30,003 --> 00:05:31,000
>> That's terrific.

126
00:05:31,003 --> 00:05:33,000
Hey, did you do birthday parties?

127
00:05:33,003 --> 00:05:34,000
>> Actually, you've just seen half my act.

128
00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:35,000
>> [LAUGH]

129
00:05:35,003 --> 00:05:37,000
>> I'm gonna go freshen up.

130
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,000
Try not to say anything stupid.

131
00:05:39,003 --> 00:05:45,000
>> She's really something.

132
00:05:45,003 --> 00:05:46,356
>> It's like they
took the whole sun

133
00:05:46,368 --> 00:05:48,000
and wrapped it up in
a beautiful blue- eyed

134
00:05:48,003 --> 00:05:50,000
package.

135
00:05:50,003 --> 00:05:53,000
You're a lucky man to be around
so much sunshine all day long.

136
00:05:53,003 --> 00:05:56,000
>> [SOUND]

137
00:05:56,003 --> 00:05:57,000
>> I'm very fortunate.

138
00:05:57,003 --> 00:06:01,000
>> [SOUND]

139
00:06:01,003 --> 00:06:04,000
>> Is there a phone I can
use somewhere private?

140
00:06:04,003 --> 00:06:05,000
>> Use my office.

141
00:06:05,003 --> 00:06:06,000
>> You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

142
00:06:06,003 --> 00:06:08,000
>> [LAUGH]

143
00:06:08,003 --> 00:06:09,000
>> It's the take of time.

144
00:06:09,003 --> 00:06:15,000
>> [SOUND]

145
00:06:15,003 --> 00:06:18,000
>> Hi, it's me, sweetheart, don't cry.

146
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:22,000
Look, lots of people have marital
problems, but we'll work it out.

147
00:06:22,003 --> 00:06:23,000
It's going to be okay.

148
00:06:23,003 --> 00:06:26,000
We'll talk about it as soon as I get there.

149
00:06:26,003 --> 00:06:28,000
>> Take him and hang him to a tree.

150
00:06:28,003 --> 00:06:32,000
And then sow the dead
body in the skin of a pig.

151
00:06:32,003 --> 00:06:33,000
>> Where's my love monster?

152
00:06:33,003 --> 00:06:35,643
>> Your love monster
is->> Toby, I'm sorry,

153
00:06:35,655 --> 00:06:38,000
but I'm going to
have to cancel lunch.

154
00:06:38,003 --> 00:06:41,000
There's an emergency at the office.

155
00:06:41,003 --> 00:06:43,000
>> You dirty liar.

156
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:46,000
>> Okay, maybe tomorrow?

157
00:06:46,003 --> 00:06:50,000
>> I'll call you.

158
00:06:50,003 --> 00:06:54,000
Nice to meet you, Martin.

159
00:06:54,003 --> 00:06:59,000
Bye, Toby.

160
00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:01,000
>> Isn't he dreamy?

161
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:04,000
>> Well, he does seem
very- >> Mary, Mary.

162
00:07:04,003 --> 00:07:05,000
>> Nice.

163
00:07:05,003 --> 00:07:08,000
Toby, how well do you
actually know this guy?

164
00:07:08,003 --> 00:07:11,000
>> Well, not in the biblical sense,
if that's what you're getting at.

165
00:07:11,003 --> 00:07:13,338
But I want to tell
you, when I'm around

166
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,000
him, I feel like a baby
on a roller coaster.

167
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:25,000
My heart goes, here feel it.

168
00:07:25,003 --> 00:07:26,000
>> That's okay, it's okay, I believe you.

169
00:07:26,003 --> 00:07:33,000
It's just, I think he's->>
Funny, charming, sexy.

170
00:07:33,003 --> 00:07:34,000
>> Married.

171
00:07:34,003 --> 00:07:36,000
>> Married, I think he's married, Toby.

172
00:07:36,003 --> 00:07:41,000
>> My God, you're jealous.

173
00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:42,000
>> Excuse me.

174
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:45,000
>> You can't stand the thought
of me being with another man.

175
00:07:45,003 --> 00:07:48,000
You know, ever since your wife
dumped you, you want me all to yourself.

176
00:07:48,003 --> 00:07:49,000
Well, I'm sorry, Martin.

177
00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:52,000
>> Toby, I just heard him
talking to his wife on the phone.

178
00:07:52,003 --> 00:07:54,000
He's on his way to meet her.

179
00:07:54,003 --> 00:07:58,000
I'm sorry, but I just
thought you should know.

180
00:07:58,003 --> 00:07:59,000
Where are you going?

181
00:07:59,003 --> 00:08:00,000
Toby, where are you going?

182
00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:01,441
>> I'm going to find out for myself.

183
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:08,000
>> This, your immediate mission, is
one upon which the very existence of our

184
00:08:08,003 --> 00:08:09,000
nation may depend.

185
00:08:09,003 --> 00:08:10,000
>> Toby, Toby!

186
00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:20,000
>> Toby, I really don't think
we should be doing this.

187
00:08:20,003 --> 00:08:21,000
You know what?

188
00:08:21,003 --> 00:08:23,000
Why don't we just go back and
get those notes typed up, okay?

189
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,000
>> This is true.

190
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:25,000
I'm going to kill myself.

191
00:08:25,003 --> 00:08:26,000
I'm going to put a bullet to my head.

192
00:08:26,003 --> 00:08:29,000
I'm going to drink poison
and throw myself off a bridge.

193
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,000
>> I tell you, there are
certain necessary lies.

194
00:08:33,003 --> 00:08:35,000
>> I was probably wrong, Rammy.

195
00:08:35,003 --> 00:08:36,000
You know me.

196
00:08:36,003 --> 00:08:37,000
Gav, gav, gav, gav.

197
00:08:37,003 --> 00:08:39,000
After time, I don't even
know what I'm saying.

198
00:08:39,003 --> 00:08:40,000
Oh!

199
00:08:40,003 --> 00:08:41,000
Sss!

200
00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:43,000
He's over here.

201
00:08:43,003 --> 00:08:51,000
See?

202
00:08:51,003 --> 00:08:52,000
Did you see that?

203
00:08:52,003 --> 00:08:53,000
One apple.

204
00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:54,000
Just one.

205
00:08:54,003 --> 00:08:59,000
If he were married,
he'd finally... Two.

206
00:08:59,003 --> 00:09:00,000
Wait.

207
00:09:00,003 --> 00:09:02,000
Who are those folks?

208
00:09:02,003 --> 00:09:09,000
Toby?

209
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,000
Where is he?

210
00:09:26,003 --> 00:09:27,000
I don't know.

211
00:09:27,003 --> 00:09:28,000
Come on, Toby.

212
00:09:28,003 --> 00:09:29,000
Let's go back to the office.

213
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,000
Wait, wait, wait.

214
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,000
I'm trying to prove a point here.

215
00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:35,000
Now, why would a man come to a
church in the middle of the afternoon if he

216
00:09:35,003 --> 00:09:37,000
wasn't a perfectly
good Catholic man?

217
00:09:37,003 --> 00:09:38,000
You're right.

218
00:09:38,003 --> 00:09:39,000
I'm sure he's a Saint.

219
00:09:39,003 --> 00:09:40,000
A single Saint.

220
00:09:40,003 --> 00:09:41,000
Exactly.

221
00:09:41,003 --> 00:09:45,000
That'll teach you to spread rumors
about a perfectly innocent priest.

222
00:09:45,003 --> 00:09:48,000
>> Hello, Margaret.

223
00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:50,000
I got here as soon as I could.

224
00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:53,000
Let's go to my office and talk about
what's going on with you and Frank.

225
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,000
I told you he wasn't married.

226
00:09:57,003 --> 00:10:00,000
Toby, I'm sorry.

227
00:10:00,003 --> 00:10:01,000
You should be.

228
00:10:01,003 --> 00:10:04,000
I was going to have a nice
lunch with my boyfriend.

229
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:07,000
Now, thanks to you, I'm dating a priest!

230
00:10:07,003 --> 00:10:08,000
Maybe.

231
00:10:08,003 --> 00:10:10,000
Hey, if you're going to blame
somebody, blame the Pawdering.

232
00:10:10,003 --> 00:10:12,000
Don't I blame on a man of the cloth?

233
00:10:12,003 --> 00:10:16,000
Even if he is a two-faced
apple buying no good grief!

234
00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:17,000
Are you going to break up with him?

235
00:10:17,003 --> 00:10:18,000
You betcha.

236
00:10:18,003 --> 00:10:20,000
Nobody lies to a petal bee.

237
00:10:20,003 --> 00:10:22,000
No!

238
00:10:22,003 --> 00:10:23,000
No!

239
00:10:23,003 --> 00:10:25,000
No!

240
00:10:25,003 --> 00:10:27,000
I'll meet you back at the office.

241
00:10:27,003 --> 00:10:30,000
Just take the rest of the day off.

242
00:10:30,003 --> 00:10:41,000
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

243
00:10:41,003 --> 00:10:43,000
Toby.

244
00:10:43,003 --> 00:10:46,000
Sorry to bother you at work, Father.

245
00:10:46,003 --> 00:10:47,000
Love, monster.

246
00:10:47,003 --> 00:10:49,000
I'm so sorry.

247
00:10:49,003 --> 00:10:51,000
I really was going to tell you.

248
00:10:51,003 --> 00:10:53,000
When? When they made you poop?

249
00:10:53,003 --> 00:10:55,000
How could you do this to me?

250
00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:57,000
I had dreams of us growing all together.

251
00:10:57,003 --> 00:10:59,518
I thought we could
drive cross-country in a

252
00:10:59,530 --> 00:11:02,000
winterbaker, see that
donut outside Butte.

253
00:11:02,003 --> 00:11:04,000
I never meant for it to get this far.

254
00:11:04,003 --> 00:11:05,000
Well, it did.

255
00:11:05,003 --> 00:11:06,000
You kissed me.

256
00:11:06,003 --> 00:11:08,000
You're a priest and you kissed me!

257
00:11:08,003 --> 00:11:10,000
And I kissed you back.

258
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,000
How many Hail Mary should I say for that?

259
00:11:12,003 --> 00:11:13,000
Infinity!

260
00:11:13,003 --> 00:11:14,000
Toby, please.

261
00:11:14,003 --> 00:11:15,000
I don't want to hear it.

262
00:11:15,003 --> 00:11:17,000
You make me sin.

263
00:11:17,003 --> 00:11:20,000
I can't believe I used to picture you.

264
00:11:20,003 --> 00:11:22,000
Without your underwear.

265
00:11:22,003 --> 00:11:25,000
Without my underwear?

266
00:11:25,003 --> 00:11:26,000
Four times!

267
00:11:26,003 --> 00:11:27,846
And now, thanks to
you, I'm going to be

268
00:11:27,858 --> 00:11:30,000
flipping burgers with
the Prince of Darkness!

269
00:11:30,003 --> 00:11:35,000
I have to confess, I had
impure thoughts of you as well.

270
00:11:35,003 --> 00:11:36,000
Don't tell me!

271
00:11:36,003 --> 00:11:38,000
I don't want to know.

272
00:11:38,003 --> 00:11:42,000
How impure?

273
00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:49,000
God forgive me, but we were alone in a
moonlit Meadow, as naked as Adam Eve.

274
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,000
Are there snakes?

275
00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:54,000
Because I-I-I-I am not
crazy about the snakes.

276
00:11:54,003 --> 00:11:56,000
Ah, no snakes.

277
00:11:56,003 --> 00:11:59,000
It's just you and me.

278
00:11:59,003 --> 00:12:05,567
And we lie back in
the cool grass and look

279
00:12:05,579 --> 00:12:12,000
up to Heavens and
slowly, so slowly, I...

280
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:19,000
Shamb, hurry up.
I'm lying naked in a Meadow here.

281
00:12:19,003 --> 00:12:22,000
I sweep you into my arms.

282
00:12:22,003 --> 00:12:25,000
Your pecs are so ripply.

283
00:12:25,003 --> 00:12:29,000
Our bodies entwine like the
grapevine of the mighty oak.

284
00:12:29,003 --> 00:12:30,000
Oh, boy.

285
00:12:30,003 --> 00:12:32,000
I can feel your heart beating.

286
00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:34,000
My head is going to explode.

287
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,000
This is wrong.

288
00:12:36,003 --> 00:12:37,000
I don't.

289
00:12:37,003 --> 00:12:38,000
You're in the church.

290
00:12:38,003 --> 00:12:39,000
No, a Meadow.

291
00:12:39,003 --> 00:12:41,000
Oh, God.

292
00:12:41,003 --> 00:12:43,000
Oh, God.

293
00:12:43,003 --> 00:12:44,000
Oh, God.

294
00:12:44,003 --> 00:12:46,000
Oh, God.

295
00:12:46,003 --> 00:12:47,000
Oh, God.

296
00:12:47,003 --> 00:12:49,000
Oh, God.

297
00:12:49,003 --> 00:12:50,000
Oh, God.

298
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,000
Oh, God.

299
00:12:52,003 --> 00:12:54,000
Oh, God.

300
00:12:54,003 --> 00:12:55,000
Okay.

301
00:12:55,003 --> 00:12:57,000
So, you're taking your
mother to dinner, right?

302
00:12:57,003 --> 00:12:59,000
But you have to stop at Dad's because?

303
00:12:59,003 --> 00:13:01,000
Because I need my suit.

304
00:13:01,003 --> 00:13:02,000
Because?

305
00:13:02,003 --> 00:13:03,000
Because I spilled mustard on the other one.

306
00:13:03,003 --> 00:13:04,000
Right.

307
00:13:04,003 --> 00:13:05,000
Then you'll buzz to let
me know when you're here.

308
00:13:05,003 --> 00:13:08,000
Now, buzzing is key, and if she asks
you why you're buzzing, you'll say...

309
00:13:08,003 --> 00:13:10,000
Oh, no. I forgot.

310
00:13:10,003 --> 00:13:12,000
Dad's at the Connecticut Book Convention.

311
00:13:12,003 --> 00:13:14,000
Perfect. Okay. One more time.

312
00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:15,000
No, that's it.

313
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,000
Get out of here.

314
00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:20,000
Remember, now, buzzing is key.

315
00:13:20,003 --> 00:13:21,000
Buzzing.

316
00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:24,000
Hi, Toby.

317
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,000
Are you okay?

318
00:13:25,003 --> 00:13:26,000
Never better.

319
00:13:26,003 --> 00:13:29,000
I did the right thing, and I feel terrific.

320
00:13:29,003 --> 00:13:33,000
You know, priests are a lot easier
to get over than normal people.

321
00:13:33,003 --> 00:13:34,000
Really?

322
00:13:34,003 --> 00:13:36,000
Well, good. Good. I'm going for you.

323
00:13:36,003 --> 00:13:38,000
Are you up to taking a few notes?

324
00:13:38,003 --> 00:13:40,000
I got a million things
to do for Judah's party.

325
00:13:40,003 --> 00:13:43,000
It would be my great pleasure
to help you in any way I can.

326
00:13:43,003 --> 00:13:45,000
A doll. A living doll.

327
00:13:45,003 --> 00:13:47,000
I need 40 paper hats.

328
00:13:47,003 --> 00:13:49,000
Teenage of pirates, pilgrims,
leprechauns, and fire chiefs.

329
00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:50,000
Nice!

330
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:53,000
I need streamers, balloons,
a cake in the shape of a brain.

331
00:13:53,003 --> 00:13:55,000
She's a psychologist.

332
00:13:55,003 --> 00:14:00,000
You know... Would you
stop? Would you just stop?

333
00:14:00,003 --> 00:14:02,000
I can't take it anymore.

334
00:14:02,003 --> 00:14:03,000
Uh, Toby.

335
00:14:03,003 --> 00:14:06,000
God's punishing me. I feel so guilty.

336
00:14:06,003 --> 00:14:07,000
12 years of Catholic school.

337
00:14:07,003 --> 00:14:09,000
I should have known better.

338
00:14:09,003 --> 00:14:10,000
What are you talking about?

339
00:14:10,003 --> 00:14:11,000
I lied, okay?

340
00:14:11,003 --> 00:14:13,000
I didn't break it off with Sherman.

341
00:14:13,003 --> 00:14:15,000
And now God's showing me who's boss.

342
00:14:15,003 --> 00:14:18,000
Twice! I slammed my finger in the drawer.

343
00:14:18,003 --> 00:14:20,000
My side hurts. I don't know why.

344
00:14:20,003 --> 00:14:22,000
The photocopier just ran out of tuna.

345
00:14:22,003 --> 00:14:24,000
I just refilled it eight months ago.

346
00:14:24,003 --> 00:14:25,000
And now this!

347
00:14:25,003 --> 00:14:26,000
Toby. Toby.

348
00:14:26,003 --> 00:14:28,000
Take a deep breath, will you?

349
00:14:28,003 --> 00:14:30,000
I really don't think God's punishing you.

350
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,000
What was I thinking?

351
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:32,000
He sees me when I'm sleeping.

352
00:14:32,003 --> 00:14:33,000
He knows when I'm awake.

353
00:14:33,003 --> 00:14:35,000
He knows when I've been bad or good.

354
00:14:35,003 --> 00:14:36,000
Toby. Toby.

355
00:14:36,003 --> 00:14:38,000
Aren't you thinking of Santa Claus?

356
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,000
Whoever.

357
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,000
Martin, you gotta help me.

358
00:14:41,003 --> 00:14:43,000
I wanna break it off
with Sherman, but I can't.

359
00:14:43,003 --> 00:14:45,000
I love him too much.

360
00:14:45,003 --> 00:14:48,000
He asked me to meet him at a hotel.

361
00:14:48,003 --> 00:14:49,000
God forbid.

362
00:14:49,003 --> 00:14:50,000
I said yes.

363
00:14:50,003 --> 00:14:52,000
Pray with me, Martin! Pray with me!

364
00:14:52,003 --> 00:14:54,000
Pray with me, Martin!

365
00:14:54,003 --> 00:14:56,000
(screams)

366
00:14:56,003 --> 00:14:57,000
Ow!

367
00:14:57,003 --> 00:14:58,000
(gasps)

368
00:14:58,003 --> 00:15:03,000
I'm going to take up a
collection to fight the devil.

369
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:07,000
And I want you all to show
me how much you hate him.

370
00:15:07,003 --> 00:15:08,000
(screams)

371
00:15:08,003 --> 00:15:11,000
(dramatic music)

372
00:15:11,003 --> 00:15:23,000
(laughs)

373
00:15:23,003 --> 00:15:27,000
I thought you boys would
practice and, uh... Martin.

374
00:15:27,003 --> 00:15:29,000
Father.

375
00:15:29,003 --> 00:15:34,000
Why don't you boys go light some candles?

376
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,000
From the tone of your voice, I'm
guessing you're not here for communion.

377
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:41,000
Oh, no.
I just had a little question to ask you.

378
00:15:41,003 --> 00:15:45,000
As a matter of curiosity, what
made you become a priest?

379
00:15:45,003 --> 00:15:48,000
Are you out of your mind?

380
00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:52,000
I must be.

381
00:15:52,003 --> 00:15:55,000
I'm not even sure what I'm doing anymore.

382
00:15:55,003 --> 00:16:01,000
I wake up, I look in the mirror,
and all I see are the hollow eyes.

383
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:04,000
The lost soul.

384
00:16:04,003 --> 00:16:06,000
Oh, really? Let me tell you something.

385
00:16:06,003 --> 00:16:09,000
If you look a little lower, you might
notice a collar with a white thing in

386
00:16:09,003 --> 00:16:09,000
the middle of it.

387
00:16:09,003 --> 00:16:11,000
And where I come from, that means "prest."

388
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:14,000
You're absolutely right, and I'm not proud.

389
00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:16,000
Good, good. Okay, lesson number two.

390
00:16:16,003 --> 00:16:18,000
Priests do not date.

391
00:16:18,003 --> 00:16:21,000
I've seen about a thousand episodes
of the dating game, and not one

392
00:16:21,003 --> 00:16:22,000
contestant was a priest.

393
00:16:22,003 --> 00:16:25,000
Believe me, I know what I'm doing is wrong.

394
00:16:25,003 --> 00:16:28,000
Every day I pray to God
for guidance, but nothing.

395
00:16:28,003 --> 00:16:31,000
He's abandoned me.

396
00:16:31,003 --> 00:16:34,000
Of course he's abandoned you.
You're being a dick.

397
00:16:34,003 --> 00:16:39,000
Morning, sister.

398
00:16:39,003 --> 00:16:45,000
Now, look, Toby is in love with you,
and she deserves better than this.

399
00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:47,000
So if you really care
about her, you'll break it off.

400
00:16:47,003 --> 00:16:51,000
And if you don't, I'll... I
command you in the name of God!

401
00:16:51,003 --> 00:16:55,000
I'll tell the Pope on you,
and don't you think I can't.

402
00:16:55,003 --> 00:16:58,000
My ex-wife's husband is his bridge partner.

403
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,000
[screaming].

404
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,000
[door opens].

405
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,000
[footsteps]

406
00:17:07,003 --> 00:17:09,000
[music]

407
00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:11,000
[music]

408
00:17:11,003 --> 00:17:13,000
[music].

409
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,000
[music]

410
00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:18,000
[music]

411
00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:44,000
Toby.

412
00:17:44,003 --> 00:17:45,000
Yes?

413
00:17:45,003 --> 00:17:46,000
Yes, me.

414
00:17:46,003 --> 00:17:47,000
Sherman.

415
00:17:47,003 --> 00:18:01,000
You look nice.

416
00:18:01,003 --> 00:18:02,000
We match.

417
00:18:02,003 --> 00:18:06,000
We, uh... we need to talk.

418
00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:09,000
Talk? Then why'd you tell me to
get a hotel room if we wanted to talk?

419
00:18:09,003 --> 00:18:10,000
We could have gone to the movies.

420
00:18:10,003 --> 00:18:13,000
No, I mean... we can't do this.

421
00:18:13,003 --> 00:18:18,000
We can't... see each other anymore.

422
00:18:18,003 --> 00:18:24,000
You're right. You're right.

423
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:28,000
Pardon me, was hoping
that you would say that.

424
00:18:28,003 --> 00:18:30,000
But not all of me.

425
00:18:30,003 --> 00:18:32,000
I'm sorry, Toby.

426
00:18:32,003 --> 00:18:34,000
Me too.

427
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:45,000
No, I can't share you with him.

428
00:18:45,003 --> 00:18:47,000
Don't say that.

429
00:18:47,003 --> 00:18:53,000
When you leave me, you go back to
him, to his house, and all his children.

430
00:18:53,003 --> 00:18:55,000
You spend your holidays with him.

431
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:58,000
I can't go on like this, Sherman.
You gotta choose.

432
00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:01,000
It's either me or him. Him or me.

433
00:19:01,003 --> 00:19:04,000
I know. I know.

434
00:19:04,003 --> 00:19:16,000
[music]

435
00:19:16,003 --> 00:19:18,000
It's you.

436
00:19:18,003 --> 00:19:19,000
Okay.

437
00:19:19,003 --> 00:19:29,000
Joanne, get away from the window.
Get away. I don't want Jews to see you.

438
00:19:29,003 --> 00:19:33,000
Get... Eddie, stop
crowding the cake, will you?

439
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,000
Shit!

440
00:19:36,003 --> 00:19:39,000
He didn't buzz.
Ten times I told him to buzz.

441
00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:42,000
Hats! Hats! Hats! Hats! Hats! Hats! Hats!
Come on. Come on, everybody. Come

442
00:19:42,003 --> 00:19:44,000
on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

443
00:19:44,003 --> 00:19:46,000
Dad, let me in!

444
00:19:46,003 --> 00:19:49,000
What the hell is he doing?
I'm supposed to be in Connecticut.

445
00:19:49,003 --> 00:19:50,000
I hate this damn hat.

446
00:19:50,003 --> 00:19:52,000
Shh!

447
00:19:52,003 --> 00:19:57,000
Surprise!

448
00:19:57,003 --> 00:20:01,000
Thank you.
Dad, can I talk with you for a minute?

449
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:07,000
Okay, everybody. Stay where you are.
And keep those hats on.

450
00:20:07,003 --> 00:20:11,000
Where's your mother?

451
00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:15,000
She's downstairs in the limo.
We're on our way to the airport.

452
00:20:15,003 --> 00:20:18,000
The airport? That's not part of the plan.

453
00:20:18,003 --> 00:20:19,964
Bad news. Richard
solved the geese thing,

454
00:20:19,976 --> 00:20:22,000
so he's flying us up
to the Arctic Circle.

455
00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:26,000
He said something about a
houseboat in Northern Lights.

456
00:20:26,003 --> 00:20:31,000
[thunder]

457
00:20:31,003 --> 00:20:34,000
But tonight?
I mean, why does it have to be tonight?

458
00:20:34,003 --> 00:20:36,000
Because it's her birthday.

459
00:20:36,003 --> 00:20:37,937
Well, can't we just
bring her up for a

460
00:20:37,949 --> 00:20:40,000
minute, you know, so
she can see my hat?

461
00:20:40,003 --> 00:20:43,000
Her friends?
And I got a guy coming to draw caricatures.

462
00:20:43,003 --> 00:20:46,000
You know, Mom, if she comes up
here and she's had much trouble you run

463
00:20:46,003 --> 00:20:49,000
through, she'll just
wind up feeling guilty.

464
00:20:49,003 --> 00:20:52,000
Now, you don't want her feeling
guilty on her birthday, do you?

465
00:20:52,003 --> 00:20:55,000
And what about me?
What about the way I feel?

466
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:57,000
I guess not.

467
00:20:57,003 --> 00:21:01,000
Look, if it makes you feel any
better, she never suspected a thing.

468
00:21:01,003 --> 00:21:06,000
Bye, Dad.

469
00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:09,000
Bye.

470
00:21:09,003 --> 00:21:20,000
Surprise!

471
00:21:20,003 --> 00:21:23,000
[thunder]

472
00:21:23,003 --> 00:21:33,000
Toby.

473
00:21:33,003 --> 00:21:37,000
The most miraculous thing just happened.

474
00:21:37,003 --> 00:21:41,000
Something I've only heard about.

475
00:21:41,003 --> 00:21:44,000
Never experienced until now.

476
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:46,000
You're telling me.

477
00:21:46,003 --> 00:21:49,000
If loving you is wrong,
I don't want to be right.

478
00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:50,000
I had an epiphany.

479
00:21:50,003 --> 00:21:52,000
I think I had three of them.

480
00:21:52,003 --> 00:21:53,000
I saw God.

481
00:21:53,003 --> 00:21:55,000
Well, I wouldn't go that far.

482
00:21:55,003 --> 00:21:56,000
No.

483
00:21:56,003 --> 00:21:58,000
I saw God.

484
00:21:58,003 --> 00:22:02,000
He was here.

485
00:22:02,003 --> 00:22:05,000
God was here? In the room? With us?

486
00:22:05,003 --> 00:22:08,000
In a sense.

487
00:22:08,003 --> 00:22:12,000
He's calling me.

488
00:22:12,003 --> 00:22:14,000
Well, don't answer. He'll go away.

489
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,000
I thought we had a deal. You picked me.

490
00:22:19,003 --> 00:22:21,000
I can't, Toby.

491
00:22:21,003 --> 00:22:26,000
I've given twenty-five
years of my life to him.

492
00:22:26,003 --> 00:22:33,000
And as tempting as this
is, I can't just walk away.

493
00:22:33,003 --> 00:22:37,000
This isn't fair. He has so much already.

494
00:22:37,003 --> 00:22:40,000
I mean, he has the ocean and the skies.

495
00:22:40,003 --> 00:22:41,000
I know that land.

496
00:22:41,003 --> 00:22:43,000
Why does he have to have you two?

497
00:22:43,003 --> 00:22:46,000
Toby, I know this is hard for you.

498
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,000
But in a way, you've been
part of a small miracle.

499
00:22:50,003 --> 00:22:54,000
You brought me closer to God.

500
00:22:54,003 --> 00:22:57,000
I'll never forget you, Toby.

501
00:22:57,003 --> 00:23:01,000
You know, I suppose I should be flattered.

502
00:23:01,003 --> 00:23:04,000
But instead, I just want to smack you.

503
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,000
[music]

504
00:23:06,003 --> 00:23:30,000
Don't worry, Toby.
There'll be lots of other... guys.

505
00:23:30,003 --> 00:23:31,000
I don't get it.

506
00:23:31,003 --> 00:23:35,000
You finally meet a person who
makes everything seem right.

507
00:23:35,003 --> 00:23:41,000
And then some supreme being comes
along and takes that person away from you.

508
00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:44,000
Believe me. I know exactly how you feel.

509
00:23:44,003 --> 00:23:49,000
Well, as Sister Mary Herman used to
say, "The good Lord giveth, and the good

510
00:23:49,003 --> 00:23:51,000
Lord taketh away."

511
00:23:51,003 --> 00:23:52,000
Amen to that.

512
00:23:52,003 --> 00:23:54,000
Religion doesn't have to be this.

513
00:23:54,003 --> 00:24:00,000
Taking all the fun out of
everything can be bright.

514
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,000
Bring you closer to happiness.

515
00:24:03,003 --> 00:24:07,000
So nobody touched the brain cake, huh?

516
00:24:07,003 --> 00:24:17,000
Any time you take religion
for a joke, the laugh is on you.